Day 39 Week 7

Still not heard from C.

It was revealed yesterday that the poor soul from my son's Company to be killed last week was the victim of a blast whilst he was clearing an area of explosives. The announcement, as always, was accompanied by the photograph of a beautiful young person with a cheery face, smiling and full of life - but that was then and now he is no more. My friend told me that when her son was deployed, after he had left the house she walked into the sitting room and he'd written 'not this one' on a picture she had of him in his combats. They were blessed and he did come home. As a Christian I hold on to the belief that the Lord will protect us and that the soul is the important part which will always remain after a body has been taken, but feel my faith is being tested in the extreme.

Can only deduce my son must also be clearing areas of explosives.

Was transfixed by the images from Wooton Bassett and the good people showing their respect. There definitely appears to be a zeitgeist of sympathy and horror - the youngest to return yesterday was eighteen - although a soldier he was really a child. Then the Prime Minister caused offence to a grieving mother.

The whole thing is an obscenity.

At C's passing out parade the General giving the address did inform us that there really is a danger out there, and that the general public was fortunately unaware of what is actually the full extent of the situation. He reinforced the importance of supporting the campaign in Afghanistan and encouraged us to believe in the legitimacy of it all. He reassured us it was an authentic cause, well worth fighting for and I suppose reminded us that in this case, ignorance was bliss. For some reason H, C and I were ushered on the high altar during the church service to be seated directly opposite the General, and I watched him pray and he seemed to be such a genuine man and so full of faith.

Must believe it's all worthwhile.

Our village always lets a cannon off at eleven o'clock on the 11th November and then another two minutes later. This morning it juddered through my body.

Heard from H - as always extremely self critical and felt he did not do his best during the vivat. In the marvellous spirit of detent that now prevails I will liaise with his father over forthcoming events. Not heard from R but hope she's OK. Touched base with fellow soldier's Mum and all well with her thank goodness - we agreed that no fingernails and white hair are inevitable. It's grey and raining and am waiting for the nurse and my foot is very swollen - still so much to be grateful for.

Please God all safe and well.

Speak soon. A soldier's Mum x