Day 35 Week 5

Just heard from my new friend, who is also a soldier's mum, and thank goodness all is well with her. It's the most incredible privilege to talk to her because there is that sound knowledge that we each know precisely how the other one feels - total understanding without actually having to say a word. It sounds bizarre but I somehow feel safer when we share thoughts, it's as if her boy and mine are somehow together even if they're actually hundreds of miles apart. She's had the call with the shopping request and I shared the information another mum had shared with me - parcel free up to 2kg but size restrictions apply and anything bigger can be sent just you have to contribute. It would seem that there is a ritual all families and loved ones go through with the roundabout of deployment. Looming dread, anxious clock watching, arrival and then the call for supplies - wonder how many shoe boxes are being filled as I write this.

Heard nothing from C - still clinging onto no news equals good news but actually feel really sick all the time. C is somewhere in my mind every single minute of the day.

The village is looking absolutely splendid - all the shops have the Royal British Legion flag flying proudly above the door and we shall hopefully all gather to pay our respects tomorrow. The service consists of a mile parade down the High Street following the Girl's Brigade Band, with cubs and brownies and all the schools, including H, C and R's old ones, in attendance. Then it's to the war memorial for the wreath laying and ecumenical service in our ancient little church. I used to take the kids every year because I always felt we owed a huge debt to those who were prepared to protect us and lay down their life, but this year will definitely have special significance.

Heard from H last night. Lusty back in port. Was really brave and he made me laugh and then we talked about C and I did the unforgiveable and burst into tears. Then I sent H a text saying that it was just C was so unpredictable and prone to irrational, impulsive, idiotic acts (like the time he jumped to his feet and pointed the automatic umbrella in his sister's face and knocked out her front tooth; or the time he climbed up an old tree only to be followed by the inevitable crack and scream as he fell to earth; or the time he skateboarded down the hill on the main road and must have hit terminal velocity at the newsagent's; etc, etc, etc). It's just too scary to think what he could do in a split second. Except I didn't just send the text to H, I sent it to my group list (no specs, blind as a bat) and a friend rang and said 'Good to know Lusty back safe in home waters - have you been on the grape juice?'. Where would I be without my friends, good friends are priceless and make you laugh when you think you never will.

Moo home from uni and taking her step-brother back to college in Yorkshire. The day a delight so doing the constitutional.

Keep safe everyone please.

Speak soon. A soldier's Mum x