Day 150 Week 21

A hundred and fifty days since he first flew out, my goodness it seems like both yesterday and another world away.

Just heard the sad news of the death of another Rifleman from 3 Rifles, and can't get hold of C to (subtly) find out if he knows. He's still up in Nottingham and his phone just goes to voicemail, heavens but I know he'll be gutted to hear the news. It's such a strange feeling to actually know for sure it can't have been C this time, but tragically accept it has to be one of his comrades. God I hate this war.

Not heard from fellow soldier's Mum and just hope all is well with her.

Work was good, if not hard, but the kids were in good form and to be frank activity is far and away the best alternative, idleness precipitates dread. And bonus of bonus, fresh golden sunshine all day. Well apart from the frost this morning when the roads were strewn with cars that had hit ice and lost control.

See that the RAF were scrambled to escort an American aircraft into Heathrow this morning, seemingly they didn't follow it all the way in, and satisfied it was just a woman having a panic attack broke away over Oxfordshire. Hadn't figured we lived in a dodgy area as we are right under the flight path, practically just a few minutes from the airport itself. I suppose the likelihood of raised danger is an occupational hazard when living on the edge of London, you've only really got one choice though because if you gave into the fear of what might be then violence has won without having to flex a muscle.

Just seen some photographs of C on active duty and am arrested by the beauty and simplicity of the content. For all the world it looks like a bunch of mates on an away day, and then you factor in the body armour, weapons and explosions and suddenly it's for real. Holiday from Hell would be an understatement, and yet they all look so happy.

H just sent a message to say he's playing in a Dartmouth 15 against Sandhurst, told him the army whipped the French and he said they're expecting a drumming too - but don't tell C. Heard from R and she's off up to Nottingham to join C and wants to borrow my car tomorrow night. Still can't get hold of C and just hope and pray everything's OK for him.

So very tired at the moment. Don't know why particularly just now.

Speak soon. A soldier's Mum x