Day 82 Week 11

Phew. Christmas Eve. Not good but the bad times make the good times worthwhile and must hold on to the positive.

Saw the Chinook delivering presents and supplies to 3 Rifles at one of their forward operating bases on the news. Desperately scanned the assembled throng for a glimpse of C but it was all over so quickly. Doesn't matter really because they're all in the same boat under exactly the same conditions, just with a different map grid reference. Goodness it looks bleak.

Don't want to dwell on the maudlin but this is not a good time and actually ache inside, just miss him so much.

Woke up with the tone of the day set and then had a deep conversation with H who thankfully made it home at midnight. He also finds it difficult but after much soul searching he rationalised that this is all C ever wanted to do, and of course he would be tired but the army would be watching him closely as the last thing they would want is someone buckling being responsible for the safety of others. Apparently C did phenomenally well at Sandhurst and finished highly in his group - H said when he spoke to C's colleagues they told him they were awestruck by his soldiering particularly at such a young age. H went on to say he felt that if he had joined up after university he would have swept the board for everything. H hugged me tightly and reminded me that the last thing C would want is for home to be miserable and fall apart as a result of his career choice and we had a duty to keep things together for him to come home to.

Still bloody hard though.

Then more kindness and goodness of human nature as my colleague from work drove out through the snow to drop off presents, and H took me shopping and then the dearest friend ever took me out to avoid dwelling, and when I arrived home C's gorgeous girlfriend and two of his best mates had dropped off presents and a card on the doorstep.

R out with boyfriend and H dressed in his kilt on a pub crawl in Uxbridge. All winding up in our local inn and then on to the country club to dance the night away.

Prayers and reflection for those facing mortal challenges.

Happy Christmas and a safe New Year.

Thank you Everyone.

Speak soon. A soldier's Mum x